lost love song

i hadn’t really reached you yet
i wasn’t up to you
even though i’d passed myself
to burn a summit sun
distant from myself you see
distant from the world
i didn’t have the faith you know
to share with you my poem
to say the gentle words of love
to still the thunder of our blood
to let us be our own

A. H (2nd August 2020)

for another

my heart is locked
by such a combination
until you dial it true

A. H / K. H-H (6th July 2020)

spotlit poems . . . iii & vii (’19)

iii

Oh Word, protect me from the words
of those so sure of your sense
to claim their limited vocabulary
your State, not the great unboundariedness

vii

it’s obvious that i must turn to love
which brings a question — where to go
which brings a question in itself
solution sighted – on we go!

———

there must be an angel sitting near
unseen
holding dear all that we are letting go
careless carriers of our load

A. H / K. H-H (4th February & 18th March 2019)

a double helping with a spiritual theme at this time of year, i’m not sure these go together like this, but let’s see.

prayer iii

i don’t wish to trump your love of anything with mine
to give a false security, pseudo-ownership

i only wish to celebrate my own divine
and open heart spaces in which we all may shine

AKH (7th April 2020)

spotlight on . . . prayer

Make of yourself a light
– Buddha

i’ve always loved to watch the light
although darkness claims my shame
it is to light that I have turned
my night a grieving shield from hurt
dungeon to conceal myself, punish,
bringing only worse, cell for the frozen,
hiding from light’s encompassment,
mourning a drift on its lossless sea
of love

we must forgive ourselves
and each other . . .
our faults intrinsic
shadow-traps to our best makings
only define me whilst i refuse
to turn to sea, again . . .

A. H / K. H-H (19th September and 13 October 2018)

in the summer months of 2018 I read Luminous Light by Jacob Israel Liberman which was lovely, though I’m cautious about saying much he says, I know less, but he’s radical on it and it thoroughly stimulated me considering these possibilities and light, it filtered into lots of my writing in a summer of the start of a lot of reassessment. later i came across Buddha’s last words again . . .

it was published in Survivors’ Poetry’s Poetry Express newsletter number 54.

and was originally posted here – prayer

i (2020)

silent sounding
conversations of the eyes
move my heart
beyond words

a. h / k. h-h (5th March 2020)

Spotlight on . . . Plight

Is it vulgar, to gambol, on both sides
of a sacred marriage? Not one thing or the other.
There is a smell of spring and a smell of winter,
the sound of a party and a wedding altercation.
 I’m unsure I’m invited to either.
 Small inside my puff pastry story
 I’m blowing on some ember – sometimes a flame,
sometimes cinders – dizzy oscillator.
Truth in both – true in neither.
A neuter case to curse the wedding night.
Unless, dance card spirited away, secreted
in some fold, I turn toward my song,
party of one, alone, seeking paradise.
A veil lifted, falls to outward celebration.


A. H / K. H-H (15th September 2018 & March 2019).

Spotlight on . . . Rebecca

Rebecca
(after Alfred Hitchcock’s film)

Lost at sea

The Wars of the Narratives
bidding for control
with disinformation of the heart

Reality subtracted from reality
leaves what?

An empty tennis court?

And perhaps we tell our tales with bias
the good, the bad, the melodramatic

But how the heart has found its task
when truly made to work —
to love, to act in love

at the rock face, information’s motherlode,
free to be
constructive not constructed

A. H / K. H-H (30th October 2018)

my goodness, 200 poems and i manage to spotlight the same one i started with last november again (broken). I am not obsessed with it. Really. I think.

So, another. This one inspired by seeing Hitchcock’s film, chosen now as it’s about people living with the broken.

natural growth

i’m reading a Selected Poems of Zbigniew Herbert

he has a poem ‘Sister’ that speaks of becoming her, and also another switch of identity later

now, i’m not even looking at this in any trans point of view either, just a child’s exploration – an understanding Gran in some way too is mentioned

But, what it made me think, from this, then at a huge tangent that grows and melds into many others —

my love poem (i)

my love is best when it is simple
especially when not trying to be what it has misunderstood
it is best remembered when i am simple
it is unequivocally true when it is shown
love may be complex
but when i’m complex i may lose track of it
as i follow all those things that seem to want me to
i find it best when i am simple
and simply accept

A. H / K. H-H (1st-7th December 2019), with love in sorrow, joy still is

short love poem

I doubt you can uncross a crucefix
this doubt grounded in love
even if you could insist
love is

A. H / K. H-H (7th December 2019)

manifest

tyranny breeds where it cannot be
as its legions freeze stuck in some dream

freedom breathes wherever it deems
the breath of a smile in love’s eye gleam

A. H / K. H-H (23rd November 2019)

for us all

xxvii (’19)

all this time stealing poetry from myself
because because debt’s interest makes sense
all those fields’ haydreams ever unrolled
butterfly butterfly meadowsweet blown
all those souls loved-so love could not be
wallflower wallflower now you may breathe

A. H / K. H-H (17th November 2019)

sorrow

i made a classic mistake

love boundaried
discovers blind edges
as hate

A. H/ K. H-H (1st September 2019)

VII (’19)

it’s obvious that i must turn to love
which brings a question — where to go
which brings a question in itself
solution sighted – on we go!

———

there must be an angel sitting near
unseen
holding dear all that we are letting go
careless carriers of our load

A. H / K. H-H (18th March 2019)

Hate Screams

suddenly I see
how hate screams
to make itself real
firm its sinking sand
the place its found
to stand some ground
challenge imagined

deception on the path
diversion from the path
of love

keep moving

A. H / K. H-H (22nd August 2019)

XXI (’19)

how may i dare – apostateconfused into hatehate so sure of courseof its hold on love love so hard to holdnot bankable goldbreathy currencydistilled always now if not there is a chancesomeone will spring your trapthorny deadwood cutting deepharsh as empty tongues and only love’s deep long sleepwill show you how to dream awaythis barred…

loveline

lifeline in a stormy sea
still hope from all you’ve been
may be

clung to, never never let this go
pull on though all you feel
is tow

finding then as you’re pulled on
faith in the current in which
you’re gone

as faith dawns straightaway strong
find yourself drowning
in the sea of song

hope, faith, love
mighty three
hold weeping laughing
on love’s high sea

A. H / K. H-H (29th April 2019)

Untitled XIV (’19)

i spoke of love

my friend asked me what it was

its taken me a lifetime to find my reply
or have the wit to say it

to say no answer could ever be enough
to say no words could catch it

to say my answer must be to try to feel it
and in feeling show it

A. H / K. H-H (7th April 2019)

Untitled X (’19)

is it true?
can it still be?
love’s highest denial
always in its own name

A. H / K. H-H (21st March 2019)

love

the comprehension of love
lies not in knowing it, saying it,
being able to explain it
but in feeling it
nothing need be said
necessarily giving it

Prayer ii

sometimes its like the light is speaking
though let’s be cautious of that
not words, nor even suggestions
playing in the water shower’s head
something confirming
read more here

prayer

Make of yourself a light                                                          – Buddha i’ve always loved to watch the light although darkness claims my shame it is to light that I have turned…