prayer iii

i don’t wish to trump your love of anything with mine
to give a false security, pseudo-ownership

i only wish to celebrate my own divine
and open heart spaces in which we all may shine

AKH (7th April 2020)

observations ii(a)

one day i folded myself into a form – trimmed my edges, or everything they didn’t want – flavoured myself to an unreal specification

then posted this and found they wanted more

which is how i was trapped year after year – commuting myself into a box – trimmed and partial of all they might abhor – unboundaried thinking and being, the poet, oh and the trans bit as well, vital fuel for this engine

of course medicine made all this worse

i knew i was doing it too, had too, and the balance tipped, harder and harder to remedy it

in part it was clear as i was – and so got totally lost, not least as it hid how so many others were doing the same, a bit, some remedying it better, finding others

all my best bits, a whole problematic, thrived elsewhere, i knew, why i fed them, though lean and hungry at home – i even bored everyone, speaking of a person they just could not see, and they might have thought it my bad faith

here’s funny – they noticed and laughed, petted my head, some poked me to see what would happen and could not understand how my mad partiality protected a heart breathing true, almost alone, with its books and a pen, unwanted, folded and crying it knew

A. H / K. H-H (15th January 2020)

Untitled VI (’19)

if i am well, well, will i write?
what would that say of all i’ve writ?

oh the noise bubbles in my life
froth that pours so readily

it must it must it must you see
to boil away to clarity

a winding process that stops and starts
must forget its product to touch heart

completed here

Untitled V (’19)

i would see the sun a heart
beating, central, loving us
or just an aspect of a heart
watching over, growing us

i think of the distance between us all

continued here