medical cosmology

the weight of a world’s judgement in a pill
take it and betold the version they allow
mask lifter at carnival’s ball here’s yours . . .

read on

xxiv (2020)

tried to live a shadowless life
– what a joke
had all the natural shadow
and when the shadowlessness was poked
atomic darkness exploded
cracked all the mirrors in the west
trapped shady exit
left to diffuse
he tried she tried he tried to suck it back
and in the end the light
will triumph over vapour

A. H / K. H-H (15th June 2020)

brook – a new poem and intro

it must be a dream
to wake in a golden light
and run downstream in changes

A. H / K. H-H (25 & 26th June 2020)

– with intro . . .

dream

all the magpies were in pairs
nestled together in the cold
but when i looked i felt
nothing could be done for sorrow
and besides, looking back,
they weren’t magpies but puffins

A. H / K. H-H (15th June 2020)

xxvi (2020)

shadow conquistador, golden heart
your safe coronation shared danger
the dark angel of angels tickled your tongue
a world on the whim of your butterfly wing
was lost

A. H / K. H-H (22 & 24 June 2020)

spotlit poem . . . tell me when

tell me when
just when
social masks
aren’t needed

tell me when
just when
the wind in the grass
is heeded

(c) A. H / K. H-H (21/5/18)

xxiii (2020)

he played a game of no surrender
always at his edge
frightened he’d defeat himself
blind to how we must
he only made loss worse

A. H / K. H-H (10th June 2020)

ordinary level

confident I wrote a note of everything
such a mistake when I came to revise
I could not face this further lens
massive limited imagination
between wells of infinity

A. H / K. H-H (8th June 2020)

‘I wonder what they’re doing’

so she spies
friend with friend
sitting perfectly
when a wall opens
on the men
saints bring flowers
from paradise
for her to keep
as long as life

A. H . K. H-H (8th June 2020)

In the last year I’ve been reading several translations of some of Rumi’s poems. This last weekend . . .

prayer iii

i don’t wish to trump your love of anything with mine
to give a false security, pseudo-ownership

i only wish to celebrate my own divine
and open heart spaces in which we all may shine

AKH (7th April 2020)

be calmed

a trawler cut stillness
bisected mouth river calm
silent sleekness
shushed noise like snow
in a serene Selenic blanket

the non-witch watched moonlit
from a haven once devil craft wound
by a priest’s words so long ago
now trans, would witch-hood be suspected
by many, and many not

coming here like a bewitchment
fleeing The Holy Mountain for life
hooked by a moon driven east-easterly into,
to childhood eyes’ cream of the watch
only later a thought to dark vulnerabilities

the trawler cut stillness
under a stark moon’s revelation
and she sat, ignoring the call
to walk to the lighthouse (locked)
toward her father, whispers her heart

this not the first time
she has felt this wish
to come, sit, to go there
an expectation she’d round
it’s base and find him

echo twist perhaps
on childhood games
walking the pier, threeish,
he hip replaced
learning to walk again

always at heart
missed

none of this more
than what it is
it is

A. H / K. H-H (26th March 2020)

televisioned

sometimes i feel i’ve the depth of a screen
and the best it gets is a script with depth
or an actor who’s learnt what background means
something i wonder if i’ve done for myself

mixed in a crowd on its narrative tracks
passing me by with their shows in their eyes
our dialogues only mine the seams
of what things meant to us already

K. H / A. H (20th March 2020)

spotlight on . . . author credit

this
just
cracked stick figures
summoned hence
to dance
to sing
on lips
your own
life’s breath

A. H / K. H-H (18 Jan – 23 July 2017)

an older poem, from before blogging, at the moment in the draft of a staff of asklepios I may try pairing it with a poem on the blog with some similar themes, wind carried words

Départ / Departure – translation from Rimbaud

Assez vu. La vision s’est rencontrée à tous les airs.
Assez eu. Rumeurs des villes, le soir, et au soleil, et toujours.
Assez connu. Les arrêts de la vie. – O Rumeurs et Visions!
Départ dans l’affection et le bruit neufs!

Arthur Rimbaud (Illuminations)

Departure

Enough seen. The vision has been encountered in every air.
Quite enough. Whispers of towns, the evening, and in the sun, and ever.
Enough known. Life’s instants. — O Whispers and Visions!
Departure in fresh affection and fresh noise!

Arthur Rimbaud (Illuminations) (trans. AH/KH 24/12/17)

types of poetry – haiku

types of poetry
categorical insanity
nets cannot catch breath

A. K. H. H (13th March 2020 – rewrite)

click for an introduction

ii (2020)

humbled in soul break
pray, pray now
as i should anyway
first in thanks for life
any wordless poetry
granted there, anon.
moments’ blessings
living well
in harmony
an orchard to tend,
faithful,
apples come
when seasons bring them

A. H / K. H-H (6th March 2020)

read the whole post for some introduction

i (2020)

silent sounding
conversations of the eyes
move my heart
beyond words

a. h / k. h-h (5th March 2020)

Spotlight on . . . Plight

Is it vulgar, to gambol, on both sides
of a sacred marriage? Not one thing or the other.
There is a smell of spring and a smell of winter,
the sound of a party and a wedding altercation.
 I’m unsure I’m invited to either.
 Small inside my puff pastry story
 I’m blowing on some ember – sometimes a flame,
sometimes cinders – dizzy oscillator.
Truth in both – true in neither.
A neuter case to curse the wedding night.
Unless, dance card spirited away, secreted
in some fold, I turn toward my song,
party of one, alone, seeking paradise.
A veil lifted, falls to outward celebration.


A. H / K. H-H (15th September 2018 & March 2019).

an eyelashed silhouette sits

an eyelashed silhouette sits
in a ward window
close comforter
not mirror
nor shadow

in a ward window
my eyelashed silhouette
sits showing
a gentle figure
awaiting colour

My Film Review of The Kindergarten Teacher (2018) is posted at Lapidus International blog

Lapidus International have kindly posted my brief review of this wonderful film about poets and getting lost in the world (much more could be said, but best is to just watch it). I’m grateful to them (especially Francesca Baker and Richard Axtell).

Lapidus International blog – The Kindergarten Teacher (2018), film review

toni (31st January 2020)

Spotlight on . . . Rebecca

Rebecca
(after Alfred Hitchcock’s film)

Lost at sea

The Wars of the Narratives
bidding for control
with disinformation of the heart

Reality subtracted from reality
leaves what?

An empty tennis court?

And perhaps we tell our tales with bias
the good, the bad, the melodramatic

But how the heart has found its task
when truly made to work —
to love, to act in love

at the rock face, information’s motherlode,
free to be
constructive not constructed

A. H / K. H-H (30th October 2018)

my goodness, 200 poems and i manage to spotlight the same one i started with last november again (broken). I am not obsessed with it. Really. I think.

So, another. This one inspired by seeing Hitchcock’s film, chosen now as it’s about people living with the broken.

stomach bug blues

stomach bug blues
i made it to the water’s edge
greeted by these hues
the pictures didn’t get it
the odd pane of crystal glass
totally smooth
perfectly clear
every so many waves
right to my feet

yesterday
even before I went there
it was like the sun was new

A. H / K. H-H (15th & 16th January 2020)

what you need to know today . . .

is that i wonder
how anyone could know what i need to know
why they would tell me like that, in a headline,
whether there is anything they’d like me to think
whether they just want me to accept they know best
if the momentum of The Reformation is being reversed
whether (some of) the media wish to be priests
and why it is that i am being polite

A. H/ K. H-H (16th January 2020)

observations ii(a)

one day i folded myself into a form – trimmed my edges, or everything they didn’t want – flavoured myself to an unreal specification

then posted this and found they wanted more

which is how i was trapped year after year – commuting myself into a box – trimmed and partial of all they might abhor – unboundaried thinking and being, the poet, oh and the trans bit as well, vital fuel for this engine

of course medicine made all this worse

i knew i was doing it too, had too, and the balance tipped, harder and harder to remedy it

in part it was clear as i was – and so got totally lost, not least as it hid how so many others were doing the same, a bit, some remedying it better, finding others

all my best bits, a whole problematic, thrived elsewhere, i knew, why i fed them, though lean and hungry at home – i even bored everyone, speaking of a person they just could not see, and they might have thought it my bad faith

here’s funny – they noticed and laughed, petted my head, some poked me to see what would happen and could not understand how my mad partiality protected a heart breathing true, almost alone, with its books and a pen, unwanted, folded and crying it knew

A. H / K. H-H (15th January 2020)

thoughts

it is a false power that requires the destruction or inhibition of your power?

but that is the reality of power

and some may inhibit themselves when they see it

perhaps this explains free will – and I’d have to think and study if it relates at all to Old Nick and his hell

is it that we are allowed hell, in this sense, as removed from the divine, if we insist – we certainly do seem to insist a lot

natural growth

i’m reading a Selected Poems of Zbigniew Herbert

he has a poem ‘Sister’ that speaks of becoming her, and also another switch of identity later

now, i’m not even looking at this in any trans point of view either, just a child’s exploration – an understanding Gran in some way too is mentioned

But, what it made me think, from this, then at a huge tangent that grows and melds into many others —