it must be a dream
to wake in a golden light
and run downstream in changes

A. H / K. H-H (25 & 26th June 2020)

There’s something in creativity, you may half get it and then you force sense onto it, or I do, sometimes, to be what others need, even if only what I think they do, what I think they think is a poem — and I have got over it quite a lot for my best, but I still do it. Or when I’ve still not understood what might be trying to speak to me in a first bit that I’ve got, yet try to tie that up or for some reason not just go with the flow.

This was written in about 2 minutes of a 5 minute space in a writing for wellbeing workshop, but with a different third line, that was too trying to be something, too trying to be a perfect poem/philosophy of life and all in three lines. I set out to write a haiku too — so stuff that, I must think in the republic of toni poetry, let’s just let it flow, which is what I’ve tried to do here. I also changed the second line now, and then changed it back to keep it simple. One person at the workshop said the poem could have been inscribed somewhere, I suggested my heart, as that idea immediately felt like criticism (and my answer was defensive of the real impulse I was feeling) that it was trying to be important, as I kind of knew in a way, though not so much important as justified — now I hope it is more by being less, except more honest and out of control. And I’ve given it this title with all that in mind, acceptance.

But still it’s not such a new thought, it just felt fresh for a moment. What thoughts are?

ahh — I just realised, what i just said could be what the process of the poem was, me waking to some light and then . . .

and a creative writing workshop poem moves a bit towards just being my writing

toni